Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My imaginary office fireplace

Wednesday, more dark, wet, and a mild coldness. My office needs a gas fireplace, that's the conclusion I have come to.  You have to admit––you really do––that it is a cool idea.  Can't you just picture blowing into the office on a cold wet fall day and instinctively reaching for the switch that lights the golden blue flames of the office gas fireplace (with mantle and hearth, of course!), even before you remove and hang up your rain coat and hat, or before you stoop to pick up the large red leaf you must have tracked onto your office floor with your adhesively wet shoes.  And some sort of pre-industrial pot-on-a-stick arrangement for making a steaming blow of porridge or Scottish oats that, because you set it up the night before, needs only to be pushed into place (my imaginary gas fireplace having already given way to a large stone traditional fireplace that, somehow, doesn't give off additional greenhouse gasses when it burns) to start heating up a warm bowl of slow-cooked grains. Yes, this is a very worthy idea, me thinks, as I settle for a breakfast bar and pot of yerba mate instead.

I suspect, however, that even were I to find some local (self support) source of funding for this project it would be frowned on.  Taxpayers assume every penny that gets spent by a public agency comes directly out of their pocket.  Even when you tell them that over 50% of your operating budget comes from other sources of revenue, if something gets done that they (individually) don't like, it was funded out of their (also individual) taxpayer dollars and that's all there is to it.  This adds to the personal store of righteous umbrage that appears to be the only worthy badge of electorate engagement these days.

Did anyone see David Horsey's painfully excellent illustration of the electorate the other day: Deconstructing the U.S. electorate.  I think it is a pretty accurate take on what will drive the results of the elections taking place in a couple of days (or already, for those of us voting via mail). That and, here in Washington state, the direct corporate path to purchasing laws or their repeal.

Hmmm.... how did I jump from my ideal office fireplace to my skepticism about the upcoming elections?  

Here's another gear change:  Last night when I got in my car to head home I sat down, strapped in, and went to turn the ignition switch: no go.   Literally, no movement; it wouldn't budge.  My car has an electronic keyless entry/ignition.  Meaning, I keep an electronic card on my presence and there are no keys.  As long as the card is in the car with me, I simply turn a rocker where a traditional key would be, and the car starts up.  No card, no budge.  Yet the card had worked when I hit the unlock button on the car door to get in.  Pauses to think, and realizes I still have my iPod in my right jacket pocket, which is now lying directly on top of the keyless digital card in my right pocket.  Remove the iPod and plug it in where it's supposed to go and now the car will start.  Digital interference from the iPod (or a cell phone) in such close proximity will keep the right signals from being received.  If push had come to shove, there is a physical key stored in the digital card, in case of battery or other electronic failure.  Is it any wonder my dream office gas fireplace morphed into a dream office pre-industrial stone fireplace?

Great iPod mix this morning.  None of these are songs I would intentionally string together and expect to work, but they did.  Probably just chaos theory showing up in a surprisingly small sample, but I'll take it:

Leonard Cohen: Democracy (Live)
David Benoit: Cat On A Windowsill
Frou Frou: Shh
Dr. Dog: My Friend

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